arrgg see, i've done it again. i've said "nooo i hate dramas, boooo!" and then fallen in love with a drama.

this was on my radar for a VERY long time, as soon as i saw it's announcement and trailer. i really enjoy a lot of a24's weirder movies - i loove TUSK (2014), HEREDITARY (2018), THE LOBSTER (2016), THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019).... i could honestly go on forever here. the trailers for this movie looked so thematic and atmospheric, and i love, LOVE the analogue retro-tech aesthetic. it's a wonderful choice for horror, i eat that shit up every time i see it. now, that being said, i didn't really know what this movie was about while i was looking foward to it - the plot abstract was vague at best and i was operating off vibes, but once it started properly showing i had come to understand that this was a trans allegory written by a trans person, so I did go into this movie with that prior knowledge. if anything, this enhanced the movie; obviously in it's themes, but also it's cinematography, the beautiful colours and shots in this movie, the little background details.

really enjoyed this movie. the trans experience is not something i can personally relate to, and it makes me very sad that a lot of people won't grasp this movie the way it's supposed to be grasped. i think this will be a very 'you understand it or you don't!' thing, which is so sad because i do think there's a little part of everyone that people are afraid to express and nurture, and that they just want someone to come along and tell them "it's hard to be unabashedly yourself but you have to fucking endure if you want it because it's worth it!!!!" the last 40min of this movie had me just sitting there, head in hands, absolutely fixated on the screen. there's this scene where owen's father comes downstairs to find him with his head in the tv screen, static screaming and sparking everywhere -- it's so fucking good. this movie is a visual delight. another scene with a fallen powerline, the light coming from the sparking cables lights the scene as though there's a barrier between the side owen is on, and the side beyond the powerlines. UGHHH god this movie is so gorgeous

this was such a delight in a horrible, miserable way. the movie is so surreal and bizarre, it has all the makings of an a24 film and delivers them well. the ending is a miserable gut punch that leaves you re-evaluating a lot of your choices in life. i am absolutely certain it's going to get shit ratings because people are going to say it's too long, or too boring, or doesn't make sense etc etc but fuck em, this was an awesome movie